


i have only two emotions careful fear and dead devotion

by buckybunnyteeth



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Family Feels, Gen, Happy Ending, Past Abuse, Past Torture, Temporary Character Death, bamf!armando ramon, trans girl!armando ramon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 11:37:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12911133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybunnyteeth/pseuds/buckybunnyteeth
Summary: Manda stands beside the gurney unmoving and unblinking as the heart monitor squeals a long, loud, flatline.Or; the day they come for him is the day the universe realizes they let a monster be made. And it is coming for them.





	i have only two emotions careful fear and dead devotion

**Author's Note:**

> Cisco is temporarily dead in this, there is some minor descriptions of blood and wounds but not graphics, and I promise he comes back by the end.

"I am what you designed me to be. I am your blade. You cannot now complain if you also feel the hurt."  
\- Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

 

From the diary of Armando Ramon, 22 of November 2018 (preserved in 2024 by the Flash museum, restored and curated by Dexter Myles)

 

_I was someone else once, someone who couldn’t do violence. Then I was violence, and now-_

_Something bad is going to happen. Cisco will not listen, he insists on being a hero. The city needs saving and he is running off after the speedster with wide-eyed hope. He had not changed from the child he was._

_But the bad thing will still happen._

_It's not a vibe, I have no proof but-_

_I can feel it under my skin like a tick. But this time I don’t know if I will be able to save him. My surety has left me since-_

_I was made this way for no reason, the universe let me become this and now it is deciding that I can’t even be used to save my brother?_

_Fuck. Them._

_22 of November 2018_

“-Manda I don’t-” 

“-Oh god-” 

“-we couldn’t get there I time, before- oh god there was so much-” 

“-blood, Manda you’re covered in his-” 

“-there is no time to mourn, we have to-” 

“-fuck this, how are we meant to keep-” 

“-he’s really dead.” 

“ _Cisco._ ” 

Manda stands beside the gurney unmoving and unblinking as the heart monitor squeals a long, loud, flatline. 

Her brother lays there unmoving. His eyes are closed, and his chest is a mass of blood and bandages, his superhero suit shredded to hell and under it is skin is as well. He isn’t moving. He takes in no air and he doesn’t twitch. One of his shoes is off. 

Manda knew these people would get him killed. 

Her brother. Her Paco. Her Cisco. 

_He looks so small._

Something has left him, cold and alone. He looks so small. Smaller than he did when he was a newborn. Smaller than when he was a sonogram picture on the fridge. There was something about him then that has left him now. 

_Cold._

Her hands shake and she fists them at her sides. 

She feels like she could shake the world apart. 

The lab and med bay are packed full of every superhero that he knew. The Kryptonian from another earth, the time travelers, the conjurer with the acrid cigarettes, the people without powers from Star City. They all stand around with Team Flash. Some of them are crying. The smartest among them haven’t taken their eyes off Manda. 

Iris stands across from her, where Barry has collapsed against the side of Cisco’s bed. He makes no noise but shakes so violently Manda can feel it through the floor. As Manda watches she reaches over and shuts off the monitor, plunging the room into silence. 

“We were ambushed,” Sara Lance swallows before continuing, “We never saw … we never stood a chance. It was-” 

“Don’t say his name, Love,” Constantine cuts in, voice almost snapping but not quite, “The First doesn’t take kindly to being talked about by mortals.”  


Sara glares but relents, looking down and away. 

“We’re running out of time,” Oliver breaks in, emotionally tone-deaf as Cisco says he always is, “We only have a limited window before the invasion starts we need to-“ 

“Cisco is dead!” Iris snaps, her tone poisonous, “Can’t we just take a moment to be human and grieve?” 

“We don’t have any time to waste-“ 

“Waste?!” 

“Okay,” Ray steps in, hand help up pleadingly, “Emotions are running high, and we all loved Cisco, but if we don’t move soon the whole world is going to be overrun by murderous demons!” 

“Murderous, flesh-eating, demons,” Constantine corrects him in a puff of smoke. 

“Flesh-eating?!” Wally shouts, face streaked with tears. Jax grips his hand tighter, tears on his own face. 

“How can we go on?” Amaya demands, “The whole plan hinged on Cisco’s powers?” 

“Can’t Manda do the exact same things he could?” Kara suggests, nose running, “I mean they have identical powers?” 

“It would be a risk to go into the field with an untested meta.” 

“She’s been plenty tested!” Wally shouts, hackles rising. 

“As an interdimensional murderer!” 

“Fuck you!” 

“Hey, that’s enough!” 

“Shut up none of this is helping-“ 

Which is when Manda starts to laugh. The rest of the people in the room go silent one by one as they hear the deep chuckles. 

“Manda?” Barry whispers, finally raising his snotty bloated face, “Are you okay.” 

Manda gins. 

“I have been too … kind,” Manda laughs, teeth out in a manic grin, “Too kind and too merciful. Because Reverb was right, we could be gods, if we wanted. It would be so easy to take over this world with one hand and destroy it with the other. My mistress gave me everything I would need to do it. She made me this way when I did. Not. Have. To be. This. Way.” 

The earth begins to tremble under her feet and the colour drains from the others faces. 

“But you all let me become this way. Every night I screamed into the dark and begged, and prayed and you heard me. I know you did. Because monsters don’t get made without anyone seeing. You saw me, and you did nothing.” 

“Oh fuck,” Constantine swears, cigarette falling out of his mouth as he catches up with what she is doing. 

“But I was kind,” she continues, looking around at the empty spaces in the room, the spaces between spaces “- because my brother wanted me to be kind. I didn’t seek any revenge or retribution. I showed mercy and pretended to forget. 

And now he’s dead. And you’re going to bring him back. 

Because if you don’t I will find you. Every guardian and monitor. Every lord or Chaos and Order. Every fucking fifth-dimensional being. Every god and demon, every angel and presence and beast and watcher, I will find you in your realms and citadels, in your silver cities, in every pocket of the universe you inhabit, and _I will rip you apart_. There will be nowhere you will be able to hide from me, nowhere to run, no refuge from my rage, and you know it. And it will be your fault, your fault for letting me become what I am and then taking my brother from me. 

This is your last chance. Give him back to me or I will kill you all.” 

The room is eerily silent, and everyone watched Manda with either a look of confusion or a look of fear. 

Then there is a sudden breeze that flicks Iris’s hair over her shoulder, a flash of green in the corner of everyone’s eye at once, and Cisco sits up in bed with a deafening gasp. 

“Holy shit!” he yells, eyes wide and chest heaving, “Fuck! Was that abulea! Oh my god, the demons! Are you guys okay?!” 

Manda rushes forwards and wraps her brother in her arms, pressing his head up under her chin as she holds him tight. 

All of his wounds have healed, and even the dried-up blood is gone. His skin is warm to the touch and just as alive as the dancing light in his eyes. 

He is back. 

Her Cisco is back. 

(“You won’t be able to do that again,” Constantine says to her later, “They aren’t the kind of blokes to be fooled with the same trick twice.” 

“It wasn’t a trick.” 

“Then what was it.” 

“A promise… a prophecy. It’s up to them.” 

“Could you really do it? Kill the unkillables?” 

“They brought him back didn’t they?”) 

“Whoa!” He laughs, startled by the tight hug, “Who died?” 

The rest of the room, who had been trapped in silent shock suddenly launch into noise. 

“What died why would you say-” 

“-no one died, except-” 

“-why would you assume someone-” 

“-what an odd thing to say-” 

"...Oh my god, did I die _again_?!" 

Barry just laughs, hoisting Iris into the air in triumph, making Cisco laugh as well. 

“You’re safe,” Manda cuts in, running a hand through his curls, “You’re safe now.” 

Cisco laughs and pats her back comfortingly. 

“Yeah, ‘course I am. You’re here.” 

Her brother rises from his deathbed, strong-backed and broad-shouldered he goes off to fight once more. The monsters are killed the earth is saved. 

And Manda is kind. And she will be kind. Until next time. 

**Author's Note:**

> Armando Ramon is one of the most powerful creatures in the multiverse, and the day all those pompous omnipotent beings piss her off is the day she kills them all. I just needed to get this out of my head.
> 
> Hellblazer inspired in parts because you know, its that kind of day. the green flash is totally spectre. 
> 
> Yeah, tell me what you think, and read the Vibe comics.


End file.
